Monday, 9 February 2015

Top 10 activities I do when I'm home alone

So a few days ago my parents had to leave the house for the night so I had the house to myself !!! :D
I absolutely love it when I get a bit of me time, so I thought I'd share what I like to do on these special nights in.

1) Get takeout - my parents nearly never get take out like neevvveerrr, even when they want take out they'll get a M&S Meal deal or a Tesco microwave meal. So when I'm free I hop in my car and get some grub!

2) Drive anywhere - I love driving its a freedom thing for me I absolutely love it <3 so when I get the chance I drive anywhere, I love just to see where I end up :) - this is before I go get take out.

3) I jump stomp and run in circles and dance horribly around my room - see my bedroom is directly above the living room so I have to be like a mouse in order that I don't distrub my parents watching TV downstairs so again when nobody is here I like to take advantage of this fact.

4) Loud music - so my mom hates music even genres of music that she likes after a while she just wants some peace and quiet so when nobody is here pump that music - this also aids no 3 of being active in my room. #karaoketime

5) Rate passers by - just like life hacks I love wiki-how and one activity I love to do now because of them is to rate passers by so people watching with a difference :) I usually rate their height, handbag, and shoes. If I am close enough I like to have a good look at their nails and makeup as I think this tells you a lot about a person. (wiki-how article here)

6) Jump on the bed naked - yep...

7) Do my nails - this is if Olivia hasn't already done them !

8) Have a bath - now you might always have baths but my bath is massive! Like I can fit 2 beany bags in it and yeah you get the idea sooooo cool :)

9) Watch friends - ahhhh comedy central <3 it ! Because we only have a sky box in the living room my parents get priority so it's only in the mornings usually when I can watch TV in there, so again take advantage and get comfy! (Do I sound like a broken record yet?)

10) Rearrange your room - now if you know me I love love love rearranging my furnature and this can be messy and loud. As the saying goes it's got to get messier to get cleaner :)

Doodles xxxx

Wednesday, 28 January 2015

Accidentally deleting a blog post

So tonight I published a post about friendship which I spent ages on like it's a lonnnnngggg post.
Link to that post here

So when I discovered I accidentally deleted it I was not happy to say the least. I think it's so wrong that blogger doesn't have some sort of recycle bin for this kind of emergency!

Anyways the more important part is how I got it back,
I searched  Google so much and this is what worked for me.

First off read this article - here

Secondly summarizing what I did - Go into your internet history and in the search bar type in "" and simply go through every link opening it into a new tab until you find what your looking for.

Then copy and paste it into a word document, create a new post on Blogger - paste the hours of work back into the draft. Republish your hard work and thank whoever that you don't have to rewrite that post and instead you can .... well I am off to bed !

How important friends are!

Hi, sorry it's been a while. I think trying to change yourself all in one go at the start of a new year was kind of impossible. But I'm going to be slowing introducing chances again and we'll see how it goes :)

So I want to share with you a chat I have with my "sister" it's a chat we have a lot because in the evening I often spiral. By this I mean I've spent all day in my bedroom working on coursework, I've watched some TV and now I'm thinking too much and I cry. I am surprised I can cry anymore over this past year I've cried more than a spoilt toddler! I feel like 2014 was a rough year for a lot of my family, but 2015 so far it's been one of my busiest which helps to keep crying at a minimum.

Anyway this is how the texts go:

Me - "Sister, I don't want to be alone anymore, I know I got you but something is missing".
Sister - "You're not you have me, I am here and I am single too and I know it's a boy, we'll get you a guy don't you worry; ;)"

She knows all too well this conversation and how it goes, see I envy my sister a lot sometimes and I love her to bits and her life isn't always to be envied of but it's always that complex of the grass is greener on the other side.

Continuing on with the text conversation:

Me - "But even in the club I couldn't, I get too anxious and run away"
"When you came over in your study period I wanted to tell you but I can't like why can't I just kiss someone, why do all these thoughts have to rattle through my brain, even when I am drunk?"

So this is what usually happens when I go out to a club, I follow my sister and as I am dancing/walking past a fit guy I get them to follow me whether this by just grabbing on to them and doing like a conger type thing. I don't even know it's an in the moment thing.

Thus I do this at the latest club I went to - Bunker and I start dancing with some guy, who is obviously followed me for all the wrong reasons. Whilst some of my friends ask if I am okay and others egg me on to get with this stranger.

The anxiety returns to my thoughts, see I did this 6 months ago on my 17th birthday which resulted in me dancing with a stranger and then Flo pulling me away when he tried to kiss me. Now from that event I always regretted not kissing this stranger. So back to Bunker eventually when I finally accept that I don't have enough courage to go further with this guy I run away, literally. I run through all the people dancing in the club, do 2 laps of the club to make sure I've lost him then go to the loo.

Now I can't remember what this stranger even looked like - neither of the people I've danced with. But I know it's not right to keep doing this, it's a huge insecurity of mine which comes from the fact I have zero confidence.

Now this might be unbelievable as I am bubbly / hyper and outwardly confident but inside as like most people there are those cracks, these cracks I don't even want to be there because they are vain or stupid but that's not how the brain works...

It's just that I know of nobody who's had a crush on me or found me attractive. I've never had a boyfriend, been kissed, held hands or even been on a date. Now I am 17 at this point there are people with babies which I know that's an exaggeration to think of this as the norm and I know it's not the norm. But even my brother had a girlfriend at this point of his life, and Alex he isn't a good looking lad, he's a bit like a character from the big bang theory :P

Back to the texts again - sorry, I bet this is getting really confusing!
Sister - "It's because your nervous bub, It's normal for a first kiss, I promise."

See my sister has had 2 serious relationships and these have had the highs but also the lows. Now the lows might be lows, but as the cheesy saying goes I want the highs as well as the lows because it's the experience that counts.

Me - "But it's not normal to have your first kiss at 17, maybe 18 or older!"
Again a big insecurity that I'm not keeping up with life and experiencing it to the fullest. I mean all these songs about high school love and young love blah blah blah. If I don't get a move on I am never going to experience "YOUNG LOVE"!

Sister - "You want to save your first kiss for someone you know not just a guy in the club you've never met. It's nothing to be embarrassed about I promise".

The voice of reason my sister and I know she's right and when I do finally get my first kiss I am sure it will be worth the wait. But come on I am 17 damn it! Like in big bang theory Sheldon does by some miracle get a girlfriend - now my old school enemy is Sheldon and against all odds I had she has found a boyfriend. (And they are facebook offical - I know how vain of me but what are you gunna do?). So here I am in my prime the days where I am told I'll look back on them with fond memories but yet all I can think at the moment is I am Raj from big bang theory, and not the Raj where he finally gets a girlfriend but Raj in his underwear eating lobster! (not a nice sight)

Sister - "F*** normal, stop comparing yourself to the world's normal! Your giving into the world's expectations! Live your life however the f*** you want because at the end of the day only you can live it. I know that sounds cliche but actually think about it",

Well I do think about it - all the time and it just gets more and more confusing! Now what my sister is saying here I think is totally right but it's easier said then done when it's you trying to do it.

Me - "I want to live it completely differently, I want to be one of the lads with banter in jogging bottoms but then the next day I want to be super dressed up and be in Downton Abbey. I try to figure out who I am but I get more confused."

Sister - "I f****** love my life for all the ups and downs it's thrown at me because that's a part of life. There's only one me so I'm not gunna pretend to be someone else, and you shouldn't either! You're an individual and that's why your my best friend! I never met someone like you and I'm proud to be your best friend because you never changed for anyone!  And that's why you should be proud to be you!Who gives a damn if you don't kiss someone until you're 30?!?!?!?!"

I think this is my favourite part of the conversations we always have because it's so true and something I stick by in my life with the up-most priority. That I don't change for anyone and I never have, I've always been blunt and not given a s**** what people thought about me. I would do what made me happy whether I looked crazy or not, more often crazy than the not part but my life I've genuinely loved, but as a teen there is all this stuff in the background! This also links into how I am fiercely loyal to my friends, if I don't think your boyfriend is good enough for you not only will I tell you but I'll tell you both together! Because although you are perfect for each other sometimes it's just not meant to be.

Sister - "It's your life bub, But your trying to copy other people, stop doing that. Your Hannah! Your the girl obsessed with nails and handbags and who can look amazing but also look a complete slob but the best thing is that she can have a laugh as cheer anyone up whose with her without even trying!"

Me - "I'm trying to copy them because they seem so happy and I just feel felt behind".
I think every female goes through everything I've mentioned in this post but this in particular is my most obsessive habit. I copy other people like no other I'll wear the same hair, use the same products, everything because I think people will like me more, find me more attractive - no I know it won't but I've forgotten how to be me, how to be genuine. Like the other day I complimented my brother - his reply "well that was dripping in sarcasm", and although I didn't mean for it to be it probably did sound like it!

Sister - "If you try to be other people you'll be the most unhappy person on the planet, and take that from someone who knows, be you because I love YOU, not the people you are trying to be".

This just breaks me down into tears, because I know that she's right I know  she's gone through it all and is now the happiest she's ever been and I know that I can be happy too, sometimes I think it's as easy as flipping a switch in my brain other times it's not but I'm going to try to be me because I can't keep having the same conversation with my sister, going around in loops of:

party - guilt - weight insecurities - new fitness regime - new diets - new boyfriend plans - crying over boys back to confidence issues around to fashion issues and back to the beginning.

If you're a Scrubs fan you'll get this if not skip this paragraph.
The episode where JD's life is going through a rough patch and he gets taped to the ceiling of the canteen and he had to stay there for a few hours in which time he learns how annoying it is about everyone complaining about their problems. So when he finally gets released he refuses his all time dream of going for a beer with Dr.Cox because he doesn't want to talk about how crap his life is anymore.

So although my life is in no way crap, I just need to stop complaining about it and just get out of my head and live life.

To do this -
1) Stop obsessively scrolling through social media
2) Stop trying to be other people
3) Become a better conversationalist
4) Stop forgetting to text people back!
5) Stop being bored - no boredom no obsessive thinking.

Congrats if you made it this far into this extremely long post, no clue if you've enjoyed it but hopefully it can help / inspire some of you to realize maybe we are all in the same boat.

Shout out to my sister Ali whom requested a post about sisters - maybe this isn't what you thought I'd come up with but I hope this shows just how much you mean to me. 

PS - Reading this all back you are great at inspiring pep talks! 

Monday, 12 January 2015

I love Life Hacks

I love life hacks. 

I love girlie lifehacks about nail polish, I love organisational lifehacks about how to store stuff under your soft for example. I love life hacks which I have no use for like DIY or home decorating.

These are some of my favourites I want to try out in the future:

From this source -

The only problem I have with these lifehacks about cables is that one how do you get the end of the cable which is bigger than the binder clip hole through.

Secondly how do you get the spring around the wire?!?!

                                                          I'd be peeing all day!

People think I am so weird when I ask for their soda tabs :P

I definitely need to start remembering if I've locked my car door because I have to go outside at 10pm to midnight and check and it's literally the most awful feeling because you can't go to sleep not knowing!

The writing is a fairly new one to me but looks cool :)

Hope you enjoyed !

Sunday, 28 December 2014

New Year Resolutions for 2015

Hello-ha everybody!

So I am trying to think of New Year Resolutions that I will actually keep so annoyingly New Years this year is on a Thursday which I hate, new years should always be on a Monday!

So this is what I've come up with so far....

1. Save money for more about this click here.
2. Go to bed at 10.30 to 11pm absolute latest AND wake up at 8am latest!
3. Be a better friend
4. Become fitter for more about this click here.
5. Spend my time more wisely and be more productive - on college days when I am at home I MUST WORK!

So each month I will review these 5 goals and maybe make 3 mini goals for that month / week? I don't know yet, I'll see how it goes :D

My Resolutions in more detail...
1. I need to save money to do this I will: 

a) Make a monthly wish list whatever I still want I can buy with a budget of £10 per month excess products get "rolled-over" to the next month. So that's £120 per year which is much more reasonable.

b) Try not to eat out as much instead invite friends over to eat at home and have a quiet night in?

c) Stop browsing if I don't go shopping I can't buy it so no more Amazon or Poundland!

d) Use Youtube as my new Spotify and watch film4 channel instead of buying movies.

Another useful tip might be to spend cash not card as it's physically handing over money instead of invisible cash which can have more an impact on whether you spend your money or not... but since I do most of my shopping online as it's cheaper this isn't something I'll be implementing.

2. Go to bed at 10.30 / 11 pm and get up at 8 am latest !
So lately I go to bed in the early hours of the morning and wake up around noon which when it's winter in England this isn't a good habit as it's dark again in 3/4 hours, lolz!
This can't continue especially when I go back to college so I am implementing a new routine for going to bed and waking up.

Night time
1. Jewellery and Makeup Removal
1. Take a shower to relax - including doing my other skincare
2. Pj's on and hair up! < My favorite part :)
3. Say night to my family downstairs and make a hot chocolate
3.Read - I used to be a total book worm but truthfully I barely read now so I need to get back into it!
4. Pee and teeth clean - who else gets all snug in bed, does the cold bed dance then realises they need to pee? ugh this drives me up the wall!
4. Final check of phone reply to messages but no social media!

1. Wake up without hitting the snooze button and hit the tunes
2. Do some form of exercise whether it's 5 minute abs or going for a jog
3. Breakfast - and try not to have Special K Cereal everyday!
3.5 Shower and wash hair if needed
4. Teeth, Skincare, put on Jewellery, Makeup and style my hair
5. Get dressed - stop staying in PJ's all day at least change into trackie bottoms!
6. Plan my day and what needs to get done / what work I need to do
7. Make my packed lunch if I need to
8. Pack my college bag - PACK LIGHT!

How to become fitter
To get me started I think I am going to keep it simple and just do the 30 day shred in January instead of saying I'm going to jog on a Monday, do Blogalites on a Tuesday, Dance on Wednesday etc... 
The 30 day shred is a workout DVD by Jillian Michael's which makes you workout hardcore for 20 minutes everyday! Although you can get it on Youtube here.

Lastly - Spending my time more wisely and productively

1. Plan my day in the morning hourly
2. If I am not at college that day make that day count and get on with an assignment even if it's not due yet.
3. Stop being bored the number of times when I know I am bored but yet I don't do anything. I know there is always something I should be doing whether it could be working, cleaning or blogging :)

How to save money and my excessive spending!

I'd first like to start this by saying I am not bragging in any way in this post and if you don't like this type of post scroll down to the next.

So 31st December 2013 I had £30 fast forward to the 1st Jan 14 I had £22.32 
So that year I had spent £265.95 which I think isn't unreasonable for a year. But taking a closer look I'd say 90% is things like 99p and £2.69 purchases from Google Play etc... which I think I think I shouldn't have spent. But generally £22 is reasonable.

So the next year date - 2 Jan 14 and my balance is £22.32 ... fast forward to now I have £1.40 but £60.50 ish in cash. Which sounds better than last year however!

I've also spent a massive £528.80 like that blows my mind!

That's an average of £45 per month :O
Which is crazy... like I had spend mostly under £10 in the majority of my transactions and like 90% were under £20 max.

How on earth did I spend this much? 

  1. Eating out more, Wagamama and Nandos and other fast food makes a regular appearance on my bank statements. 
  2. Amazon - Amazon is a life saver and a curse... so I go out shopping write down what I like then I find it on Amazon for cheaper. So I think I am saving money but actually those purchases if they were originally £13 I wouldn't get them but find them for £5 ish on Amazon and I'll buy it. So although I save I'm not really saving because I'm buying a product I 99% wouldn't have if it was still £13 ish. 
  3. Google Play - My online life has gotten huge recently. I often buy books on Google Play, I bought some apps, I rent movies and buy them and if music is on sale I'll purchase it just because it's like 99p... bargain maybe but overall it's not!
  4. Subscriptions - Throughout the year I've had some sort of subscription whether it's Netflix or Lovefilm or Spotify or a gym membership.
    1. January Gym Membership
    2. Summer - Movie Subscriptions June to September
    3. Spotify - September to December

Which just goes to show how all the little things you pick up add up. For example £1.99 x5 is £9.95 so £10 which adds up more than you think over time.
So clearly being sensible with my money isn't my greatest strength to put it lightly.

2015 must be a saving year :/

How to save money

1. Make a monthly wish list whatever I still want I can buy with a budget of £10 per month excess products get "rolled-over" to the next month. So that's £120 per year which is much more reasonable.

2. Try not to eat out as much instead invite friends over to eat at home and have a quiet night in?

3. Stop browsing if I don't go shopping I can't buy it so no more Amazon or Poundland!

4. Use Youtube as my new Spotify and watch film4 channel instead of buying movies.

Sunday, 21 December 2014

Pushing Midgets!

So today I'm going to tell one of my favourite stories my mom tells me about when I was a toddler.

My family and I were on holiday at the pool side and I see a man and a woman, a couple who were midgets. I used to love midgets when I was younger... like I didn't love a particular midget I just loved that they were adults but still child size! (and to an extent I still do :P ).

So I see these midgets at the pool - they were just walking past going back to their hotel room when... SPLASH!

I had pushed them in :O 

Why? I don't remember but mom says it was my way of introducing myself and wanting to start playing with them. So they get out and mom and dad apologise and I probably had a time out.

But to this day I still think being a midget is the best... yes I know there are downsides but I've always wanted to be a kid but be in charge of my own life and a midget is as close as this as you can get in my opinion.